Bars N Bands N Brothers Oh My!

 One of the toughest parts of being an entertainer is the travel.  There are times when you just want to sit still, but you can't.  It's like being a hamster on a wheel you just have to keep pushing.  The only thing keeping you going is your passion for what you do (and your bank account).  My booker sent me on a midwest trek to Rockville, IN.  Typically anything with a "-ville" at the end of it means "Country as Hell"...this weekend was no exception.  Actually, I take that back.  It was EXCEPTIONALLY Country as Hell.  Moving on...

I pull into my hotel called The Billie Creek Inn (I think I know what -Billie was short for).  I've seen nicer hotels in No Country For Old Men.  When I got up to the counter, the lady asked me "Smoking or Non-Smoking?"  I said "Non-Smoking".  As I walked upstairs into my room I soon realized I was incorrect, the answer was smoking. 

As I go down the hallway I see pictures of the civil war.  Only they were in full color...because they were pictures of a civil war reinactment.  Good ones too, like when people take that shit WAY too seriously?  Come to think of it...WHY do people do that?  I mean if you're the North sure, do it!  But what about the people in the South?  No one celebrates losing but THEM!  I don't think the 2009 Detroit Lions are gonna pop champagne once each team has a win this year, do you?  Anyway I say all that to say this...

...Somebody elses CLOTHES were in the drawers at the hotel! WTF?!

My brothers Rod and Reno
Now that you have a picture of what I had to deal with before even thinking about the show, you should clearly be able to see why I was so excited to find out that my brothers decided to come surprise me!  Reno and Rod.  I was tired of looking for something positive to give myself energy, and THEY provided the boost I needed.  My brother Reno had actually never seen me perform, so it was added motivation to do well.  Plus they drove 5hrs there and back (PLUS they still had to pay to get in.  NO FREEBIES lol)

Dude blacked out at show
So here's what I'll say about the show:  I had a GREAT time.  Sparky's Roadhouse was a blast!  Even though I wasn't able to say one thing without a comment from the audience, it was still a good time.  It was more like a town hall meeting than a comedy show, but I was the unquestioned foreman, and I somehow kept their attention.  I told them "I wasn't pleased that I had to import my own black people to tonight's proceedings, but I'm still happy to be here."  Once they laughed at THAT, I knew it was gonna be no problem making them laugh!  Met a biker chick named Roadkill...I asked her afterward how much it would cost for her to be my bodygaurd.  She laughed and gave me a hug that reminded me she probly would've knocked me out had I not let her speak while I was on stage.  I also met some crazy bitch (who wanted to be acknowledged as "THE Crazy Bitch" or TCB for short) who wanted me to give her a dvd for free because I "should feel sorry for her because her ex-husband pushed her down the stairs."...Now, I don't know that dude or their situation...and I'm not one to promote domestic abuse....HOWEVER, she was bugging the hell out of me the whole night and wouldn't leave me alone because I wouldn't give her one.  Then she was leanin on me and shit the whole night, THEN her friends tried to get her away from me (and apologized to me on her behalf multiple times), THEN she hit me in the back with her cast that she got because her ex-husband pushed her down the steps...which she informed me of 5 times in 2hrs Van down by the River-style.  So with all that said, I will one point I was looking around for a flight of stairs (for my own exit, of course :) )  And if my girlfriend was there, screw stairs, she would've clocked TCB in the face, because that's how she ROLLS!...All and all it was a great time had by all! 

After the show there was a band that played and brought the house down. Apperently I was just foreplay.  Their name was The Roosters Band.  They even gave me a shirt!  Once they got done with their last set they let me and my brothers hang out on their tour bus.  You know what we talked about the whole night?...Comedy!  It's really true what they say:  Comics wanna be musicians and musicians wanna be comics.  We both look at each other like "How the hell do you DO that?"  The tour bus was a renovated school bus with leather couches and tables.  It was PIMP.  Thank you guys for hanging out and showing us a good time, and for sharing that good-ass pizza! 
Check em out youself at

My brother had such a good time that he brought his wife out to my next show in Milledgeville, IL (I'll tell you about THAT show on my next blog!).  And that's where I said goodbye after such a fun-filled weekend of surprises.  By the way, after my time at the Billie Creek Inn, I was never happier in my LIFE to be staying at a Super 8. 

I guess I didn't have to say all that stuff about Billie Creek...I could've just been positive and talked about how fun the show in Rockville was from the very beginning of all this...but I never question anything I do when I'm passionate about it ;)

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